Subject: Fwd: Bumper Stickers
Some amusing and some crude bumper stickers
1. Constipated People Don’t Give A Shit.
2. Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.
3. If You Drink Don’t Park, Accidents Cause
People.
4. Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?
5. If You Don’t Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your
Mouth Shut.
6. Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point.
7. If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could
Drive A Little Better.
8. My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.
9. Thank You For Pot Smoking
10. To All You Virgins Thanks For Nothing.
11. If At First You Don’t Succeed…blame Someone
Else And Seek Counseling.
12. Impotence: Nature’s Way Of Saying “No Hard
Feelings”.
13. If You Can Read This, I’ve Lost My Trailer.
14. Horn Broken… Watch For Finger.
15. It’s Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where
You Put The Booger.
16. If You’re Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.
17. You’re Just Jealous Because The Voices Are
Talking To Me
18. The Earth Is Full – Go Home
19. I Have The Body Of A God… Buddha
20. This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren’t
Happening To Me
21. So Many Pedestrians – So Little Time
22. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
23. If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
24. The Face Is Familiar But I Can’t Quite
Remember My Name
25. Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
26. Illiterate? Write For Help
27. Honk If Anything Falls Off
28. Cover Me… I’m Changing Lanes
29. He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles
From The Next Exit
30. I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An
Unarmed Person
31. You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
32. I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
33. Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This
Handbasket?
34. It’s Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now
35. I Haven’t Lost My Mind, It’s Backed Up On
Disk Somewhere
36. If You Can Read This, The Bitch Fell Off…
[Seen On The Back Of A Biker’s Vest]
37. If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You’re
Doing It Wrong…
38. Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
39. If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back
Over…
[Seen upside Down, On A Jeep]
40. Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph
Are Also Timed For 70mph.
41. Guys: No Shirt, No Service Gals: No
Shirt, No Charge
[Reported To Be Seen On A Restaurant]
42. If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does
My Mailman Look Like Jabba the Hut?
43. Necrophillia: That Uncontrollable Urge To
Crack Open A Cold One.
4 4. Ax Me About Ebonics
45. Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel
46. Boldly Going Nowhere
47. Cat: The Other White Meat
48. Caution – Driver Legally Blonde!
49. Don’t Be Sexist – Broads Hate That
50. Heart Attacks… God’s Revenge For Eating His
Animal Friends
51. Honk If You’ve Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A
Car Window
52. How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before
He Admits He Is Lost?
53. If You Can’t Dazzle Them With Brilliance,
Riddle Them With Bullets.
54. Money Isn’t Everything, But It Sure Keeps The
Kin In Touch
55. Saw It… Wanted It… Had A Fit… Got It!
Though the above bumper stickers are amusing the best bumper sticker I have seen is:
Know Jesus, Know Heaven
No Jesus, No Heaven